Thank you so much CielDuMatin. I think your right maybe I should talk to people outside the poly world. My issues with sex don't seem to be issues with poly so maybe I don't need someone who is active in the lifestyle to talk to.
MonoVCPHG, casual sex and one night stands are easy for me. I don't think it is just this relationship because it has happened in every relationship that has lasted over two years. I believe know where it comes from I was sexually molested as a kid. It's something I have mostly figured out but sex has always been something that was better when it was kinky, causal with good chemistry and mostly degrading. It sounds like you and I have opposite issues.