Originally Posted by YouAreHere
My partner's OSO is an introvert and still seems to desire the "all together" aspect of the wider relationship. I'm an extrovert, and have very little interest in it, outside of hanging out as friends once in a while, partly since I'm the Mono one in the bunch, and partly because I'm too damned independent to lose "me" in the "us".
Yes, I was thinking about what I wrote yesterday as I was driving to work today. I don't actually think the introvert/extrovert thing I brought up is as relevant as it seemed when I wrote that.
I can envision why an introvert (who has different preferences than I do) would feel more comfortable creating a "chosen family" type pod where everyone is involved with everyone else. For instance, I hate having "outside" people in my home. But once someone is in my little "inner circle" of close friends/lovers - then they are "inside" people and it doesn't bother me if they are in my house (or in my bed, or with my boys
- which is probably how the "group sex" thing happens).
It's the meeting new people and potentially forming a bond with them in the first place that causes me stress. I don't "click" with many people but when I do I "click" hard and fast. So the idea of "having" to have that "click" happen with not one but two other people at the same time...Egads! (and then add all the other "clicks" that are supposed to happen simultaneously that I am not involved in...Yikes!)