Originally Posted by faraday
I very much want to be in a better place about sex. I believe I can be, I just don’t know how. I’m trying to find a therapist but I’m sort of scared of that. I feel like this is an issue that is going to cause a lot of pain and hard times before it gets better and I haven’t done my best to pursue therapy because of that. I am trying to change that. I’m also broke as hell and most of the “poly friendly” therapists in Seattle are people I know personally and socially which I want to avoid. So it’s not a simple thing in the first place but I know I could make it happen if I was pushing more.
Well, for what it's worth, I don't think that you have to restrict yourself to explicitly "poly-friendly" therapists.
I have had some experience with therapists while I was working on my own issues and I found one that hadn't even heard of poly and she did a lot of volunteer work for Catholic charities. However, I showed her some online documents that I have found - a sort of "Poly 101 for Therapists" and she just clued right in on it, and seemed to understand the issues amazingly well, paraphrasing stuff back to me with the meaning even closer to what I was trying to say!
So you may have to search a little more than most, but I don't think you need to restrict yourself to that poly-friendly label. Not sure whether this helps you or not, but I don't envy you your struggle.
Going through the process is tough - unravelling all the "stuff" what you have kept inside you all the years, but it does sound like you have a support mechanism around you that will be able to metaphorically and literally hold your hand through it, so that you can come out the other side feeling like you have something resolved.
I really wish you strength, luck and eventual happiness.