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Old 04-11-2013, 06:46 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,130
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Quote:
Originally Posted by choctaw103 View Post
Want doesn't seem to be the same as a basic expectation. I mean you do have a vision of how people should treat you right? Even if it is abstract?
Erm...what?

I'm sorry. I don't think that we are having the same conversation.

"...you do have a vision of how people should treat you right?"

I DO have an idea about how people should treat other people...with respect/dignity/thoughtfulness/honesty/etc. ... but this applies equally well to random strangers and people I am in relationships with. If you don't treat me with the same level of basic humanity that I would afford to ANY RANDOM PERSON on the street -then, sure, you are not meeting my expectation of how HUMAN BEINGS should interact with each other...and we are not likely to form a "relationship" in the first place.

Being a "decent human being" is kind of a prerequisite to me wanting to even talk to someone (or be in the same room with them). It doesn't mean that I want to be their friend. And it certainly doesn't mean that I want to be in a "relationship" with them. It just means that they are not a "complete asshat".

decent human being + REALLY interesting person to talk to = friend (if mutual)
decent human being + sexual attraction = fuckbuddy (if mutual)
decent human being + REALLY interesting person to talk to + sexual attraction = "friend with benefits" (if mutual)
decent human being + REALLY interesting person to talk to + sexual attraction + indefinable-feelings-that-persist-past-NRE where their happiness seems to be a necessary to my own (which some people define as "love") = potential partner (if mutual)

So...how someone "should treat me" is a fundamental basic of being included in my life in any capacity...it is not an "expectation" for a relationship - because someone would have already passed that hurdle to even have been considered as relationship-worthy (if I was "looking for" a relationship - which I never have).

JaneQ
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Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
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