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Old 04-11-2013, 06:03 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,796

Wanted to chime in about the cell phones. I really understand your reluctance but you don't HAVE to treat yours the way others treat theirs. I use mine as a.) landline - wherever I am, b.) txt generator - no reply required c.) back up alarm clock d.) that's it (I don't allow it to access the internet - sucks battery life and my time).

When I had to have one for work I decided that it was silly for me to pay for a landline when I already had a cell phone paid for. BUT I also decided that I would answer my phone on my terms by my rules. So, when my phone goes off I do check it - if it is work, I answer (since that is why I have it) - if it is friends or family then I answer by "landline" rules. IF I am home, AND I want to talk to them (which does happen once in a while), THEN I answer it...otherwise it goes to voicemail (which they know that I hate - so they only leave one if it is actually important/time sensitive).

I only use txt for info that doesn't require a reply ("Heading home." "We need milk." "Leaving at 7." etc.) - never for conversation. I find txting to be the perfect answer, for me, for the purpose of letting the boys know where I am and what my timeframe is. AND I never worry about "interrupting" them with a txt - since my txts never require a reply. If I want to talk to them but it is not urgent I will txt "I'll be home between 5 and 8 if you have time to talk and want to call - otherwise I'll see you tomorrow." or "Wanted to talk about our plans for tomorrow - I'll call at 9. Don't answer if you are busy. I'll try back at 11."

You DO have to fight the "expectations" of others but it actually doesn't take too long for most people to learn your style. (I do have exactly one friend that is savvy enough to realize that if it goes to voicemail after 2-3 rings its because I shut it I let her calls ring through all 7 - or tell her that the battery must have died.)

Yes, it is not unusual for txts to not go through right away. I actually still have a pager for this - so work can contact me if phone is dead. MrS and Dude are the only others with the pager number and they have codes to use if it is an actual emergency.

(Funny story: I was at work and my phone went off, it was my mom. I sent it to voicemail, commented to my co-worker "hmm, that's my mom...she hardly ever calls." My co-worker said - "Shouldn't you answer that - what if it's an emergency?" I said - "If it's an emergency then she should call 9-1-1." He said - "What if something awful happened - like your dad is dead?" I said - "Well, then there is nothing I can do - he'll STILL be dead whether I answer the phone or not.")

I did, finally, convince Dude to get a phone. My argument was: a.) you keep taking MrS's phone, then I can't get in touch with him/wake him up b.) there is NO PHONE at the two houses you are likely to be at if you have to call 9-1-1 (which is why you take MrS's phone) c.) you don't HAVE to give anyone your number d.) if you don't want me to call you - I won't. Now, if he would just leave the stupid thing on the charger and quit using it to play music and run down the stupid battery...

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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