Thank you for all of the responses and excellent conversation so far. Our big issue is not an issue of friendship or dating it is rather the utter disconnect concerning what we state in our CL post and who responds. We state we are looking for like minded people where there may be in the future a chance for a more intimate relationship. What we receive are couples where one of them wants to have sex immediately and their partner is along for the ride. To us, that's not cool. We explicitly say we do not swing, we are looking for friendship and then maybe something else. And we get the obverse. We have met couples online that want what we want: Tight friendships that can be experienced more than what traditional culture finds acceptable. We know they are around us as well. We post on CL and other local forums to let others like us know they are not alone. We don't think that's a bad thing.
ps. Our apologies as posting as two instead of one. It is a shared issue and we wanted to post it as such. We will refrain from doing so in the future.