I think I miss communicated on a few things.
I'm actually perfectly okay with them displaying affection when I'm around. I only felt like I was intruding because normally that day is for them only.
As for the "voyeurism/exhibitionist" part I think it's actually the other way around. She's not comfortable showing too much affection in public, while I don't care where we are, I've actually been working on trying to tone that done.
You are correct that normally I like things compartmentalized, I know that for this to work we all need to be comfortable being around each other. And yes while they are separate relationships that need separate nurturing, they are also part of a bigger one that needs the same.
You're also right that she is big on togetherness and I know she wants to be part of a the poly community, she's the one that found and pointed me and him towards this site.
I'd show her the thread except that, at least for now, we've decided to remain anonymous to each other on here. We all feel more comfortable sharing these kind of things knowing the others won't know it was us, hence the vagueness. We're all new to the poly community.
I feel I should mention that some details were left out due to them being to personal.
I do appreciate the advice, and I'm sorry if I wasn't clear on some points, I'm not used to talking about these things on a forum.