Well think of it this way. When monogamous people start dating they look for someone that interests them that is interested in them and take it from there. Why is it so different being poly?
Would YOU date a person who told you up front, "Hey I'm only looking to date you, no matter how awesome you may be, if you come in a package deal with someone equally awesome to me." ?
I'm assuming when the couple who is looking for a couple first started dating there wasn't the rule, "Hey you're cool I'd totally date you but I don't like your friend so if you have another friend I like THEN I'll date you." It's all about realistic and unrealistic expectations. Also, learning how what you want may sound to the person you are trying to reach. It does no good to look for a couple you may be interested in if that perfect couple are immediately turned off by the prospect that not only do they have to have chemistry with two people but they must ensure that their partner has equal chemistry. Personally, I don't feel like being responsible for my hubby's or bf's chemistry with other people. That's kind of their deal.
Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year