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Old 04-09-2013, 05:03 PM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Nowhere
Posts: 1,640

I am on the ipod so i'm not quoting.

You said your wife was "working on compersion" or something like that. I want to explain that compersion is not something you can " achieve" or "accomplish". It's something you feel, not something you think. Being intellectually aware that your partner is happy with someone else and being ok with that is not the same as "having compersion". The feeling of compersion (compersion compersion compersion compersion compersion there it doesn't sound like a word anymore) is something that hits you out of nowhere and does not require rational thought or a process of convincing onself that it is the right thing to feel. I've never heard of anyone "accomplishing" or "achieving" jealousy, or deciding to intellectually be jealous. In fact, people are always talking about jealousy as something you can't avoid feeling, but you can choose how to deal with that feeling. They are actually the same feeling, but jealousy is the unpleasant side of the feeling and compersion is the pleasant side. Bad cop / good cop.

Compersion is also not the same thing as being turned on by hearing or watching your partner have sex with someone else. That's voyeurism and has nothing to do with whether or not a person is poly or poly-friendly.

Just wanted to put that out there. I sure hope i don't get yelled at or berated for thinking i'm right about this.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 04-09-2013 at 05:09 PM.
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