I think I actually remember your story now. It is coming back to me.
In regards to your wife's depression, all you can do is try to be there and ask her what she honestly needs. Asking your girlfriend or letting her try to help may be a bad idea. She could very well be a trigger if your wife has abandonment issues or something that stems from childhood.
It seems like she was trying to work with you by acknowledging that she was wrong in asking you to put your relationship on hold. From my POV--and I am doped up on medicine--but it seems like you are talking about your girlfriend in this glowing manner, and your wife is like the grinch who stole Christmas. Her depression that is ages old is possibly threatening to curb your happiness. Do not fall into the grass is greener on the other side mold. I do not think you will because you are trying to save your marriage, so that is a great step.
Sometimes you have to try things to say without a doubt that it is just not for you. That was the case with my husband. He tried poly, and he soon realised that it was the absolute wrong path for him. Your wife may very well have done the same thing. That is her right.
I cannot say that she is experiencing jealousy. Your wife holds the key to the questions you seek. Is she displaying jealous tendencies? What was going on around the time that she suddenly changed? Were there signs there and you just missed them? Did she talk to mono minded friends or family and they convinced her that something was wrong with living that way? She has been depressed for 7 years, and that was missed, so that makes me wonder what else was missed?
Last edited by FullofLove1052; 04-09-2013 at 04:04 PM.