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Old 04-09-2013, 12:50 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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I am solo and my relationships tend to be more casual, but I would never use a hierarchy. Whenever I've had multiple lovers at one time, each of them are as important as any of the other(s). When I am with one, I focus on that one. When making dates or scheduling time to be with someone, I just look at my availability and schedule time on a "first-come, first-served" basis. I would never, ever want to make a "list" to prioritize who is more important than the other, nor would I like being on someone's list like that. I prefer a more organic, spontaneous approach, like simply seeing who needs me/asks me out/is available first. Hierarchies bug me.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 04-09-2013 at 06:55 AM.
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