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Old 04-08-2013, 09:52 PM
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Dagferi Dagferi is online now
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,692

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
When you discussed removing the no emotions rule in 2009, did you do any discussion about how that would happen, what the parameters and agreements would be for communication and keeping one another in the loop?

If you didn't, then you can't really fault him for not following rules that weren't in place. You can't expect him to be a mind reader and just know how you'd want to handle things if you'd never talked about it before.

Agreed. You cannot control his behaviour. You can only control your reactions and your own behaviour.

Try talking to him in a calm and controlled manner. Outbursts and demands are not an effective method of communication. Show him that you're willing to be reasonable, but that you need him to be reasonable as well.

Ask him if he'd be willing to put his relationship on pause while you and he work out some issues. Give him a set amount of time so he doesn't feel like you're just trying to sidestep the issue permanently.
I agree with SC.. You can not control his behavior.

My opinion probably wont be popular. But how dare you ask him to force your wants and needs on Mary. She has feelings and etc too. So she wants nothing to do with you. You two do not need to be friends just respectful.

I am a hinge. I have two separate and equal relationships with my husband Butch and my boyfriend Murf. I have to worry about BOTH of their feelings, wants and needs. And I am not going to put Murf on the back burner because Butch gets his undies in a twist. Butch would like to be friends with Murf. Murf is really not interested in that. They are friendly and respectful.
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