A good place to start might be our Dating & Friendships subforum
. Of course, you can make friends with many people on Polyamory.com, but if you are looking for something local, then try that subforum.
If you're trying to start into the poly dating scene, there are a few poly-friendly dating sites:
If you're looking for local poly groups in your area (just to socialize with poly people), some links you could try are:
Googling "polyamory" with the name of your state or city might also help.
That might give you some ideas to start off.
You mentioned that your wife is in the poly scene; how did she get there? Perhaps you could take steps similar to what she did. I guess it depends on what you've tried, what has or hasn't worked, etc.
Hope this helps.