Originally Posted by FullofLove1052
No, I am not actively practising. No, I am not seeking the next relationship. Hell, I am not even sure I want another one anytime soon or ever. I have to fix my marriage before I do anything, and that is going to take a long time. We are having to rebuild it and start over from scratch. We barely have the foundation..............
Everything blew straight to hell weeks ago. For the time being, I am not able to practise poly................
What I do not like is being told that because I am not balancing numerous relationships that I have no connection to poly. Whoa. Bring that back around. A 12 year relationship and 17.5 years of practise are irrelevant because I had to change some things to give my marriage a fighting chance? ..........................
Why am I being shunned by hardcore believers of poly?
I am not being embraced by the mono bunch either. Why is that? To someone eyeing that door, that information is important.
I don't think you should be shunned by either (which is why so many of us are up in arms on your behalf).
You are doing exactly what we spend HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS telling people ON THIS BOARD.
"don't start a new relationship while the one (or two or whatever) are in crisis"
"fix the issues in the current situation first"
"take time to grieve before adding someone else to the mix"
etc etc etc
I think it's astonishingly sad (and misinformed) that anyone at all suggested anything negative about you taking a time out AND
I think it's imperative that we consider on a broad scale-this sort of "you are out because you don't fit the tight restraints of our definition" is exactly what creates so much segregation, anxst, depression, suicidal feelings etc in our world.
I think you are making a very solid choice and many of us have said-and continue to say-we appreciate you continuing to share HERE and anywhere else. Please don't stop on account of a few misguided interpretations. Keep talking.