Everything seems so complicated. Just like Sward said yesterday: Why can't it be simple from time to time? Do we have to have it this difficult each and every time we reach a new phase of our life? I know that this is more a momentum or better snapshot in time than anything but I am declined to see it like he does today. I am negative and not able to see a fast and easy solution for our wishful thoughts.
The first IUI is done and as it seems already gone as far as our chances are concerned. We will have to use the more complex way with hormonal and medical treatment, presumably. This goes against my morals and I am unsure how I will react to this. I decided to try because it would mean much for Sward and Lin. I want a child as well but this method … I have to get used to all the bits and facts coming with it. So unsure what will come out of this.
The rest of our (Sward's, Lin's and my) life is as quiet and peaceful as ever. I love our home and even the surrounding with my parents, siblings andeven the parents of my BiL all around us, even though my mother threw quite a tantrum the other day. She got totally worked up over some spider webs at our kitchen window. I was like
When talking to her in calmer moment she told me that all the occurrences of the last year left her depleted and depressed. She was diagnosed with a mild depression but of course she refuses to take the meds she got from the doctor
I mean, I know where she is coming from and the other option (a more spiritual approach) is totally not her kind of deal, but when she told me that every morning she gets up there is this enormous pressure lingering all over her head and she has to push it to the back of her mind to keep on going, I was alarmed. I don't really know how to help her and hope that the doctors will be able to figure something out. Right now she isn't able to managed even the slightest pressure in whatever shape they may occur. Even the usual grocery shopping means stress for her.
As always, we will see what comes out of this.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.