Hi thanks SNeacail and kdt.
well those are all great questions , I wish I could answer them! Last june I really did decide to completely opt out of worrying or thinking about relationships for a year and give my brain a rest.
So I haven't thought about any of those questions.
Because of that a lot of things just became easier. I adopted an attitude all around of just "let's wait and see what happens" .
One thing I found was that a lot of stress around life is caused by the role we are "supposed" to play. I am talking about gender roles here.
As a man and a husband I was always trying to sort things out. I had to smack my head against a wall to get around this or that problem. Because that's what a man is "supposed " to do.
Like everybody around me was saying that , "hey you have to make your wife do a DNA test- find out who's that baby is ASAP"
I started to think why? The baby is not going anywhere . She's going to be here for a long time.
Friends with benefits sounds good I suppose. They would have to be a friend for me to have sex with them as I couldn't have sex with someone I didn't like.
One thing I did think about was getting more open minded altogether. I have some friends I made online who are into some harmless fetish stuff. Some are male and some are female but of all sexualities. At first talking to them I was very straight in every sense but then I thought where has that got me in life? I let myself go a little way down the road of thinking out of the box sexually.
One of the guys I talked to is also single, the same age as me and is bi curious. We have talked about meeting up.
Although I no longer think that I will be struck by lightning if I played around with some same sex stuff, I don't know what would happen. That would not be a relationship but again a friends with benefits thing. And maybe this whole curiosity is just a reaction to being cheated on by women I trusted in both of my marriages.
A polyamory type situation is, I think, NOT what I am after. Although I could certainly play at it, it would not be fair on the other people in the mix. That's because right now I am lazy. I know that polyamory is extremely hard work. I would , on the face of it be extremely laid back and would not stress about how much I was seeing someone or whether I was getting my fair share of attention. But that would only be because deep down I wouldn't give much of a shit anyway.
"The secret of life, though, is to fall seven times but to get up eight times"
Last edited by vodkafan; 04-08-2013 at 01:46 AM.