Last week me and J got our first chance to see each other in six months, as B agreed that she could see me. He doesn't trust me, perhaps because mine and J's relationship was more passionate than theirs, and so was very hesitant for a long time time and it took assurances that nothing would happen for him to allow us to meet alone. We had met previously with him being present, as I had gone to see J's amatuer burlesque group (which Mrs has recently joined) perform twice. However at the first performance I left the venue before and after the show to avoid B, and at the second we barely exchanged two words. Over Msn and texts J has been giving mixed signals to me, almost as though she still wants a relationship with me, but then catches what she is saying. Me and B had even gone to see Wreck-It Ralph at the cinema together, yet we still exchanged little more than common courtesies.
Anyway we met up and had a lovely day together. A nice lunch and some window shopping, albeit with some deep conversation. I learned that her and B still had a lot of tension in their relationship, and that their sex life was almost non-existent. She revealed that she still has romantic feelings for me, and while she cares for Mrs due to their similarities in attitude she doesn't want a relationship with her. Whether she wants one with me is unclear, but doubtful. However I am now at a point where I can be happy and move on, I think. Yes I still have feelings for her but I think I could stay friends and nothing more.
However I then learned that the next day she has broached to B that she wants to be poly. She says the decision to bring this up had nothing to do with me (skeptical) and that it caused considerable tension. She seems upset and at the minute I have no idea how that situation has resolved for her. B has gone back to ignoring me and she is quiet too. At a social event earlier tonight however J, B, A and Mrs were all in attendance, although Mrs says that B was ignoring her, J was distant from B and she was staring at Mrs and A. Mrs also noticed that S may have been there and J was very comfortable with him, more so than with B. In fact as she kissed 'S' goodbye it seemed to make B VERY tense. Mrs has revealed that she still has feelings for B and J, and wishes she didn't as she knows that neither of them feel the same.
As for myself I am so very confused. On one hand I would like to explore a friendship with J, yet I am perhaps a little too comfortable and flirty with her (although I do flirt a lot with all my other friends too). On the other if there is a chance for a relationship with her I believe that I will take it, although I also don't wish to hurt Mrs further. I am also of the opinion that her relationship with B is bad for J. I feel it is controlling and borderline manipulative on his part and that she is not as happy as she appears, yet she insists that she loves him dearly and she is excited for their coming nuptials. If it wasn't for the fact it would probably hurt me a lot more in the long run I think I would cut them both out, yet my friendship and feelings for J stop me and I don't want that option to be more than a final resort.
If you have read all this, and I appreciate the effort I really do, then I would welcome any insights you can offer.
Bio in Brief: Me and Mrs open and swinging. Mrs also seeing A. Recent relationship breakdown with J and B.