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Old 04-07-2013, 03:14 AM
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kdt26417 kdt26417 is offline
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You deserve kudos for handling things as well as you did ... and I hear you on what a hard situation it is, where you can see K as a bad guy, but H thinks it's all her fault. Sounds like a classic abusive/dependent relationship. And only H and K can work that one out. They have to decide what to do about it. If H is to be "free of that relationship," she'll have to free herself.

As bad as K seems (and he sounds pretty bad), we have to realize that even bad people can change, and maybe if K gets some therapy, he might improve. It also sounds like H and K might need some couple's therapy. I know that's probably not quite what you'd want to hear; your hope is probably that H will leave K and then you can become a C/W/H triad. That does sound nice, but try to have an open mind about the possibilities and don't attach yourself too much to one particular outcome.

I don't have a lot of advice at the moment; you seem to be doing about the best you can: working on your relationship with W, and offering H moral support. That's generous and good. Keep us posted on how things are going, and I'm sure we'll have some more thoughts or advice for you.

With regards,
Kevin T.
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