I am confused. You say you are bisexual but you are not attracted to men and you don't want to kiss or cuddle or date men.
So, what is it you want to do with other men, exactly? And why does your wife have to be involved with the same guys you are, too? Or am I misunderstanding you?
I guess I just don't get it. Nor do I understand the problem. Are you wondering how to say what you want to potential partners? If that's the case, I'm certainly not sure what you want, so I think it has to be made clearer.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein