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Old 04-06-2013, 09:39 PM
FullofLove1052 FullofLove1052 is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: English Rose by birth; Calling the Southern Hemi home by choice.
Posts: 909
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I need to speak on my own behalf because I know who and what I am. I addressed how I got to the point of ending the relationship. I did not just wake up and say forget poly and I am going to be the happy little mono wife. Please. It was part of my life but not all that I was for damn near 18 years. That one relationship was 12 years. I know how strong I am and fighting to save two relationships at the same time was pushing me beyond my limit. If I am already weary and worn down from fighting for my marriage, where was I going to pull the strength from to fight for my relationship, too? I tried my damndest to save it. I was the one reaching out and extending invitations. I was shut down from so many different angles that I became distant. I could not handle her constant attitude or getting hit with the okie doke of her being fine. We stopped having a relationship. It was just a formality. The final straw was when she bailed on my children when they wanted her around and my oldest asked her to come around. Any parent would get upset if somebody was doing that to their child. I saw where it was going. I wanted to save it, but I could not do it on my own. There are only so many times someone can push you away and shut you out before it gets old. It was stressful, so I walked away because nothing was improving. I have one less thing stressing me out, so I am happy. An unfortunately messed up situation has lead to changes that had to happen. It does not change my poly. For the first time, it is not just about me and what I want. For years, it was just about me getting to be with the people I loved and not seeing the bigger picture. Poly at heart, but I am doing something different. No, I am not out dating, searching for my next conquest, or anything like that. Guess what? I am still the same person I have been for almost 18 years. My dynamics have changed, but my heart has not. I am simply adjusting to my new reality, so while I do not have a juggling act with relationships going on, I still have the connection.