Originally Posted by BoringGuy
For the most part it's about sense of humor and being to relax around the person.
What makes a relationship effortless (my goal) certainly seems to be centered around something closer to a "style" than any individual trait. IV is graceful, charming, clever, independent, ridiculous (in the best possible way), driven; but I'm not sure which of these traits (if any) would qualify as what makes us work together so well. She calls it a style, and believes that complimentary styles is what is required for a relationship to work out without being man-handled.
Sharing primary (or all) personal interests is irrelevant. My primary hobby since I was 16 has been table top role-playing. I run games, play them, even create and modify them; it's what you might call my passion. IV has exactly zero interest in being involved in them... at all. She finds my (very brief) stories about them to be entertaining but has no interest in learning more or becoming involved in any way. This has no effect on our ability to connect or enjoy each others company. In fact, I would say it is fortunate she is not involved in this aspect since it gives us a built in thing that we always do separately.
We have other interests in common; in-depth conversations, a number of movies, orgasms, etc. So we have plenty of things to entertain ourselves with. What makes us work is this illusive "style" which I have yet to identify.