Thanks both of you for the advice.
GalaGirl, sorry if I was unclear, we didn't agree to the compromise of clubs/bars. But you're right about the soft limit. Revisiting a compromise in 3 months is the least I can do.
Mohegan, my social circle are all married with kids. I'm 34, we live in the suburbs in Ontario. This isn't exactly San Francisco. Toronto is a short trip, and there is a great community there, but none of my friends are going to follow me on a polyamorous adventure to meet people, my wife included. I know I could seek personals online, I have just preferred the face to face approach.
I know I have to support my partner, I just don't like how it works out for me right now.