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Old 04-06-2013, 03:17 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,491
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So it sounds like you arrived at a reasonable "good enough for now" agreement...

Quote:
I feel like I can't push my wife to give up her privacy, and yet 'behind closed doors' wasn't what I wanted out of being poly. My compromise was to not PDA in public, with the exception of nightclubs, and bars which is where we go to meet people. This isn't enough for her, but she said she may be okay with it in time.
She has given a "soft limit" that could change in time.

But you have this fear:
Quote:
I am afraid we'll be in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now.
Maybe. Could be for the duration of this job. Maybe her job will change or where you live will.

Basically you compromised on the
  • Who (you guys)
  • What (PDA in public with non-spouse partners)
  • Where (limit it to clubs)
  • Why (risk to her job)

Just didn't cover the WHEN or HOW.

So ask her -- "Hey, can we revisit this topic in ____ weeks? Or if I am not doing well holding to the agreement? We could talk again, right? I am afraid we'll be in the same place 6 months or 2 years from now. So I need talks to reassure."

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 04-06-2013 at 04:03 AM.
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