I'm finding myself in a polyandrous relationship
So I am new to the group and rather new to this lifestyle.
Let's get the background information outta the way. A year after my husband and I were married, I caught him red handed in bed with another woman. It turned me on but pissed me off all at the same time. Eventually, I came to the conclusion that both of us were not sexually monogamous and we became swingers.
I have a very hard time reaching orgasm with new men and even with friends with benefits. Swinging became very fun for my husband but less thrilling for me because I was not reaching climax with anyone other than my husband. And it wasn't for lack in trying. I just need to have an emotional connection or it doesn't happen.
I still enjoy sex with other men. I get a high off from meeting someone new and then I fuck my husband's brains out afterwards, so it's rewarding for my marriage sex as well as the fun sex with the new guys. We've had many three-sums with me, a boy toy, and my husband.
Then something interesting happened. My husband's co-worker started chatting with me online and then we started texting. I became completely infatuated with him and the weeks before I actually had sex with him, sex with my husband was amazing because I was so on high rev in a way I've never been before.
Eventually, I met up with him in his truck and we talked for two hours before I crawled on top and made that truck rock. He knew we were swingers before we even started talking because my husband had told him. At first, it was only suppose to be a friends with benefits type thing. . . But I found myself falling in love with him and he was falling in love with me.
I still love my husband very much and he has been very much a part of this. We have had a weekend long endeavors with the co-worker and, to my utter surprise, I was able to orgasm with him without my husband even present or helping me along! That has NEVER happened with anyone that isn't my long-term boyfriend that I have strong feelings for.
But the emotional aspect complicates things. My husband is really understanding and he likes that I'm so happy. He is trying to figure himself out at the same time I'm trying to figure myself out and to co-worker is trying to figure out how all this is going to work.
And then there came the fight. Not really between me and my husband but more so a small argument between my husband and his co-worker. So the co-worker started to back off and said we shouldn't sleep together anymore and I was really upset by this cause I don't even understand how we can be "just friends" with the emotions we have for each other. We will be having sex again the next time we hang out, how do you stop that drive when it's so strong between the both of us?
Anyway, after my husband and I talked about the situation some more, my husband went to work and talked to the co-worker some more and now everyone is cool. I think the boys need to learn how to trust each other and they both need to realize that I love them both very much and I want them both in my life.
There is no guide book out for this kind of relationship but eventually, I want the co-worker to share our home. I've even toyed with the idea of having children with him possibly. It's just hot to think about, I'm not sure I would actually do it.
So I really wanted to tell someone that would understand and maybe offer some advice on how this works and how it doesn't work. My dream would be to eventually find someone else for the co-worker that is also compatible with me and my husband so we can have a big family. I've always wanted to have a polyamorous marriage.
I just wanted to clarify to what the argument was about. It was mostly about spending so much time with the co-worker. It's been three weekends in a row that I've seen him but I don't see him during the week unless I stop over to their work with lunch. I even gave the co-worker lunch one day and it really made my husband jealous. The co-worker and I also text all day long. At first, I wasn't allowed to call him but I couldn't help it cause I love listening to his voice. So I've broken some rules we've created for our swinging, rules that I myself made. My husband saw me getting really wrapped up and is trying to pull me back down to reality plus there is some financial stress right now and the co-worker is financially in a better situation and has been treating me to gifts and nights out to the town and my husband is jealous because he cannot afford to do that for me right now. That's what started the argument.
My husband doesn't mind that I'm with the co-worker. He knows that we are in love but he told me that when he finds a woman that he has a connection with, that I be his leash and make sure he sees reality and always focus on our marriage life and not get too caught up on the romancing of a new love. But it's sooooo hard to focus in the early stages of love.
Last edited by KerrBear; 04-05-2013 at 08:39 PM.