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Old 04-05-2013, 07:22 AM
cinnamonswing cinnamonswing is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 28
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so, i've now experienced being "dumped" for the first time since practicing poly! this was from the guy who was the first person i had sex with since opening up my relationship. we went on about 5-6 dates and had sex a few times. i liked him well enough, i mean he is a really smart interesting guy with a lovely smile. but there were also a few ways in which he reminded me of an ex boyfriend and it kind of put a damper on my enthusiasm. which was good, considering the dumping...

yesterday, we went out for coffee and then for a walk. he let me know that he had been thinking a lot about this and had come to the conclusion that he is not poly and does not wish to be poly. fair enough. i'm not gonna twist his arm, i was just glad he told me. there is a part of me saying "what! but you must like me! everyone must like me! i must have all the options in the world!!" but that is not reality. he actually said that he likes me. i just don't think we're super compatible. but we said that we wanted to keep in touch, maybe meet up some time. he is apparently very bad at keeping in touch with friends in general so it will probably be up to me to ask him. we'll see what happens. so, in general it was perfectly fine, but i also hade some feelings of "is this the way it's going to be? seeing people a few times but then they will decide not to bother with me because of the poly thing?" at the same time, i know that this is not a guy that i would want to have a monogamous relationship with, because of the whole ex-boyfriend vibes. been there, done that i guess. but still. it makes you wonder.

tonight i am going to a birthday celebration for "the ghost". i'm looking forward to seeing him again and meeting some more of his friends. will probably go back to his place to cuddle afterwards. he is the best at cuddling *sigh*

tomorrow i'm meeting my former boyfriend to go to an exhibition we both wanted to see. also really looking forward to seeing him. and a bit nervous. it's not very convenient to refer to him as my boyfriend or former boyfriend since we are kind of inbetween right now...i think i'll call him "music man" since he is a musician. i am hoping that we can take a step towards having more of a romantic relationship, if the time is right. so we'll see how it feels tomorrow...

____________
me: straight woman in her thirties. new to poly.
music man: was my boyfriend for 2,5 years. some problems in the relationship coincided with discussions of poly (he has always been interested, i began to see the benefits after a lot of research) and we opened up the relationship in the beginning of 2013. at the moment our relationship is mostly a friendship.
the ghost: a guy from my past who never seems to leave my mind. we are now seeing each other again romantically and he seems to be ok with poly so far

Last edited by cinnamonswing; 04-05-2013 at 07:33 AM.
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