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Old 04-05-2013, 03:50 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,862

Originally Posted by jones View Post
A doesn't understand someone can fall out of love with someone unless they didn't love them in the first place.
This is actually a topic that fascinates me. I tend to quiz my partners on their break-ups because it is something that I have never experienced. I don't "fall in love" easily, I have never fallen out of love, I am still with all (both) people that I have ever loved.

It seems to me (in all of my quizzing) that the answers are:
a.) it wasn't really "love" in the first place - it was something else ("infatuation" maybe...or "the path of least resistance"..or "regular sex"?)
b.) someone was "in love" with who they thought someone was...then it turned out that they weren't actually the person that they thought they were (the NRE wore off maybe?)
c.) they were actually "in love" with the person (and, in all likelihood, still are) BUT the relationship was NOT compatible for other reasons - so they have talked themselves "out of love" as a way of dealing with their grief.
d.) they were "in love" with the person, they still DO "love" that person, BUT a relationship is not possible for some reason - they haven't fallen "out of love" but they have fallen "out of a relationship"


PS. If someone else is interested in this topic, feel free to start a new thread...I would "love" to read people's responses.
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (6+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, FWBs to SLeW
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe

Last edited by JaneQSmythe; 04-05-2013 at 03:53 AM.
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