Everyone's experience is different. Some people are out to everyone, some to noone, some to some. Each person's journey and perspective is different.
I have only minimal facebook interaction - a small group of my close friends in real life who live far from me. I customize each post I make (like 3-4 a year) so that only the people that I want to communicate with see it. I don't use facebook for family (they can call me). I don't use my real name.
As for the rest. We are out to friends only. Initially it was only our closest friends but we have been gradually loosening that.
Our families are figuring things out slowly on their own (luckily MrS and I have really great families - they are willing to let us present things as we see fit without asking prying questions, Dude is estranged from most of his family so it doesn't come up).
I am not out at work, so we are not "out" in public while we are home (traveling is a different thing altogether - let 'em stare