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Old 04-04-2013, 10:45 PM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 5,510
Default What is appropriate to post about & where? (Autumnaltone please read)

I have some questions/thoughts but it didn't seem appropriate to continue addressing in someone's lifestories/blog thread.
I considered a pm. But, I think this is a useful topic if it's addressed correctly and something we could all benefit from hearing/reading/discussing. I hope no offense is taken by my bringing it up publicly.

I hear what you are saying about this being a board for discussing poly, but really, we do have MULTIPLE conversations going on here about topics that don't pertain to poly at all (like the thread on tattoos for an example).

I don't think that someone expressing that (at least at this point) they've opted to live mono (and that may be a life long choice or it could change) means that they shouldn't continue to express how things develop.

My biggest issue is this:
It's been less than a month since the drama unfolded and things in their poly dynamic blew all to hell.

I KNOW that multiple times over the course of the last 4 years Maca (my husband) has said he was DONE WITH POLY. But, things evolve and grow and change.

MAYBE they will be mono for life.
MAYBE they will be poly for life.
MAYBE they will go back and forth another half a dozen times before settling.

But to limit posts to including poly in them... that's going to really limit the opportunity for the rest of us to see what can come of a huge blow up like they had-and the opportunity to learn how we can grow/avoid/whatever similar situations. It also limits the bonding opportunities and the sense of "community" that we have going. If we have to limit our conversations to poly-well a good solid half of what I write would be out. Because poly is an aspect of my life-but without the rest... well it's not really conversation worthy much of the time. We just live and let live. It's only conversation worthy when it's a dramafest.

If this (example that brought up the discussion) were something that had been going on for even 6 months of "we are mono and that's forever period" I might see your comment as making more sense. But it hasn't even been one month since they were hell bent on potential divorce over her not leaving the girlfriend-who she'd been with for 12 years or so? In fact, most of her thread is about poly, there's a couple posts that are about her decision change-but there wasn't anything even in those to suggest that she was going to be posting anything anti-poly or even avoid discussing poly topics going forward. Just an update as to where things stand this week (which is broadly different from last week which was broadly different from the week prior)...

Also.... such a long time of living poly.. even if they do stay mono, why can't she acknowledge that in posts? I guess what I'm getting at is-why should EVERY post have to include something about poly? Mine sure as hell don't.

In fact-as another example, my thread (some time past) about my neck injury and the following months of recovery... it was 10 months worth of blah blah blah and had nothing to do with poly.
Again, when we were in the midst of a custody battle over our Godson-months of my posts in my blog thread, had nothing to do with poly and everything to do with kids, abuse and those frustrations.

No one said anything about those things when it was me.

THAT is why I questioned your comment.
And for the record-I wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful to you (or anyone else).
"Love As Thou Wilt"