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Old 04-04-2013, 10:35 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by afar View Post
I want this woman out of my life. I feel like she is the wall that he stops at to unload all of his happiness and love and then comes home to me bitter and hostile.
The problem is with him, not her - would you eventually ask him to drop everyone else he knows from his life when he comes home and disrespects/mistreats/dismisses you? He has another relationship but it is on him to make sure that he still nurtures and cares for his relationship with you.

If this woman actually exits his life, will he still be a bastard to you? Probably. Your anger seems misplaced.

Sure, it was probably stupid idea to open up a relationship that was ailing to begin with and doesn't have a strong, loving foundation, but there's another human being with feelings involved now. She's not some random inanimate object you can kick to the curb. Work on you and him, not him and her.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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