Ok, so I'm new here. Please forgive me if I use any jargon in the poly world incorrectly. About 2 months ago, after talking about poly for several months my husband found a woman that he was really into. Once he 'experemented' with her he decided that poly was indeed something we should do. I tried to get on board, I was the one who brought the idea to the table afterall, but I noticed his emotional withdrawal from our marriage and began to violently oppose this woman's presence in his life. We saw a marriage counselor and after several 'stop and go's' with the open marriage, have decided to close the marriage to try to repair it. He still sees her as a 'platonic' friend however and this really bothers me. There is so much instability in the marriage that we both recognize it is teetering on the verge of divorce. Both of us have expressed that we do not want a divorce, but I am still not getting that emotional connection with him and I feel like he is giving her what I need. This very much feels like an affair at this point, and I don't want to feel like it is. He has said several times that he is not having an affair, and I want so much to believe him and part of me does, but the fact of the matter is that things are so tense at home, I dread coming home at the end of the day. I want this woman out of my life. I feel like she is the wall that he stops at to unload all of his happiness and love and then comes home to me bitter and hostile. What can I do?