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Old 04-04-2013, 08:36 AM
Earthgirlk Earthgirlk is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 5
Default Update--

Marcus--- I took your pointed question to heart. I personally, am poly heart and soul and was "never exposed" to open relationships/poly or anything of the like. I just never felt capable of living in the confines of monogamy. I never knew that my relationship preferences/style had a name, or that the feeling I had when I was 11, watching my best friend kissing my boyfriend because she had never been kissed by a boy and I had, was called compersion. I started to learn all that in 2010.

with that said, doing what I do for 10+ years, what works for me is dealing with people who are poly and they know. I've found that the try it/curious types i've run into were just a headache, and ultimately were trying to figure out how to get me to be monogamous. So when someone is hesitant instead of resonant, I leave it be. Just my experience.

UPDATE** the whole thing ran 5 1/2 weeks. I realized I wasn't having a problem with the new relationship per se-- I was anticipating and anxious about seeing new aspects of my partner that I hadn't seen before. Like that part where he tells me he knew three days into the phone calls that the whole thing was doomed.

He has had 3 once in a lifetime chances ( our euphemism for 1 nite stand/recreational sex) with different women. However, I never met these women and he never heard from them again. This one, he brought home after 3 weeks. (well after the "doom") Introduced her to another partner, I spent time talking to her on the phone, and now this...?

For five weeks he has been telling me that this is so worth exploring.. I really want to get to know her. This feels special. Then today he tells me that he knew it was doomed BEFORE i met her, BEFORE they had sex, and BEFORE she agreed to "try it".

I am feeling confused and hurt... at the same time introspective and inquisitive. I saw him choosing an incompatible partner.. very clearly and it upset me.. Is it because I have too?

i am inquisitive and contemplative.. but will take any feedback.
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