Originally Posted by BoringGuy
I like you. I think you're a smart, interesting person.
What happened here is that your husband came on a board for poly relationships, said "i don't want to share my wife", and you caved, now you're monogamous. ...
You think you have it figured out? I did not cave for anyone. I have a brain of my own. I can formulate my own thoughts and opinions with no influence from others. My mother did not raise a sheep. Hubby was trying to find ways to work with me and enable my other relationship to continue. He tried to talk me out of ending it, but I had made up my mind. I can love someone, but that does not mean we need to be together. I did what needed to be done to be happy. It does not mean I am changing who I am. It just means I am changing the circumstances around me and involving me.
If I knew I was allergic to smoke, would I continue to stay around someone puffing on cigarettes? That would be stupid on my part. Teary eyes and an irritated throat. Not to mention second hand smoke. It should stand to reason that I need to make the circumstances better for myself. Could I sit there and pop allergy pills and put eye drops in? Sure but that would be like putting a bandaid on a gushing wound. I'd rather limit my contact and see the long-term benefits. In essence, what I have done now.