Welcome to our forum.
It sounds like you have expressed yourself for some time as being pro-poly, whereas your husband has quietly retained "the monogamous assumption." It looks like you're trying to get more of a two-way dialog going about that, and figure out where the two of you are headed as a couple.
There's a lot of good stuff to check out on this site, and you can always post your thoughts and questions when they arise. Do you think your husband would also be interested in participating here? Is that something that might be helpful to him?
The two of you have a lot to talk about, and I can tell you're not about to give up on your marriage. I hope Polyamory.com can prove to be of help to you, as you seek to articulate your feelings to your husband and encourage him to do the same.
Glad to have you onboard.
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"