Originally Posted by feef
Yes, he knows I'd like to be able to talk to her. After thinking and reading, this is a non-negotiable moving forward for me, but I don't think she's going to be okay with that. So far, DADT is what she wants, and I think DK would be unhappy long term compartmentalizing his life like that.
I could never pull that off, in either direction. Your partners affect your life, and when you have any problems in your relationship, it's easy enough to carry pain over. If one partner doesn't know why you're upset, they might take it personally and misinterpret your reactions.