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Old 04-03-2013, 08:34 PM
animo animo is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
Isn't life interesting?!! Good for you! It sounds like all four of you have been willing to do the work relationships require, admit to mistakes, and pick each other up when someone stumbles.
Yeah, we've had some rough patches for sure, but it always comes back to one thing: we don't want to lose each other. We love our new "family" as we call it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I do have a question. You mentioned physical intimacy had to be toned down and then worked up to again slowly. Has it reached equilibrium? Are you all free to be sexual with whichever partner you wish, and as freely as desired, without insecurities or incriminations surfacing? Or are there certain things still not allowed, or specific rules in place about sharing yourselves sexually with each other?
We did eventually manage to work our way back up to full sexual intimacy. The two men don't have relations, but the women do and the men have relations with the women individually. Sometimes it's all four of us together...we really like those days.

And since I know there's newer polys that will read this, I want to make it clear that while there's definitely a sexual side to our quad, we love just as much the times we sit together on the couch, snuggling and watching movies. We often cohabitate for several days in a row, like over weekends or school holidays. The girls run errands, proudly calling themselves "sister wives" The guys ("brother husbands") play video games and get lunches together. When one of us travels, we say goodbye to everyone and try to see everyone as soon as possible when we return. We take road trips together, we arrange opposite date nights on a rotating basis, and we long for the next opportunity to bring our "family" together.

We're all friends, and we all love being together.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I've always been curious about quads. There are a few other members here who have been involved successfully in quads over time. There are some threads with their stories here, if you do a search. Thanks for sharing yours with us.
When we first got into this, it seemed like quads were the "unicorn" of the poly world. Perhaps we've been lucky; it's serendipitous that the opposite couples formed organically, and we've found that it's our differences rather than our similarities that keep us together. One opposite couple is made up of the most emotional guy and gal...we're always moody and worried and having each other to lean on makes things easier. The other couple is less over-emotional, and they have each other to turn to when the freakout couple has one of their moments.

I hope posting this and talking about it will help other quads or couples considering a quad realize that it can work. It makes me sad whenever I hear about a marriage destroyed by "cheating", because beating down the cheater or breaking up the marriage don't solve anything. You have to understand the root of the problem: people can love more than one person. We've decided to run with our love for each other and we're better for it.
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