Glad that you're posting; it's important to find support to help yourself during tough times! I know all about immovable feelings - they lodge in the body like an illness, symptoms ebbing and flowing. For me, the best ways to manage them were through physical activity - jogging, yoga, lifting weights and meditation. I also journalled a lot, and turned to this forum for support when I was floundering, and had a few close friends who were there to support me (despite the fact that they are mono and think I'm whack for putting myself through some of the feelings that I've sorted out).
It sounds like a bit cause of your feelings is your husband's inability to slow down. That if you had a bit more say in the pacing of things that it would help immeasurably as you work through things. It's noble of you to try and head forward despite being in discomfort, but I wonder if there is a way that you could be comfortable while they still get to move their relationship forward.
I will say this: You have a right to your experience. Your feelings are natural, normal and valid. You cannot change your feelings - you can change your thoughts, and you can change your actions, but you cannot change your feelings. Change your thoughts and your actions, and feelings will fall in line eventually, but it's no swift alteration in my experience.
Keep posting! Keep talking it out. Keep asking for what you need.