Originally Posted by Natja
LOL Jane, I am not talking only of Polyamory.com.
I DO associate in the offline
Poly community you know?
Yes (which is why I included "RL meetups, etc." in my post above). But, essentially the same argument exists. Again statistically speaking, MOST poly/poly-practicing people are not part of ANY "poly community" online or offline. (And might not identify as "poly" at all if their relationship developed before the 1990s, when the word was invented. Their relationship might just be this configuration that developed a long while ago - it works for them, they don't have to have a name for it.)
A "really long term FMF Poly-fi triad" is not likely to be part of offline poly communities either - for the same reasons. As they are "poly-fi" they are not looking for new partners, they wouldn't be looking for support and advice as to how to "do" poly because they are "doing" it just fine, etc. You wouldn't see them because they are busy doing other stuff (hobbies, careers, raising kids/grandkids, etc) poly would be a stable small part of their lives at that point. So, unless you happened to be friends with them in real life outside of a poly context AND they happened to disclose that to you, then you could be living next door to a "really long term FMF Poly-fi triad" and never know.