I have a couple of things to add.
First - I'm experiencing a new (for me) set of emotions. On the one hand, I'm kind of depressed. All the illness, major negative changes in those closest to me and the death of 3 of them during the course of last year. Plus a myriad of serious illnesses among the family of those closest to me and now the death of a very old family friend have combined and now I am kind of depressed. Sometimes I have bad days and just want to cry - last week it was a whole week.
I miss those who are gone terribly and I feel enormous anxiety about losing those who are left.
At the same time, I don't think I've ever been happier. My life is going exactly the way I want it to. I'm surrounded by good friends, have a supportive family, a partner that I love and C is there just being his happy, loving self. Work is just the way I want it.
On the days when I'm not feeling down, I am filled with happiness and love.
Interesting to feel both ways so close to each other.