It's patriarchal in the sense that you don't see women as just as much a threat as men could be. If there is a part of you feeling competitive, you consider a man a worthy opponent but a woman doesn't really count, cause that's just fluff and fun. Patriarchy belittles women's worth and value and stature in all ways. Your girlfriend would never leave a man for "just a woman" kind of thinking (not saying that she would leave you at all, since this is poly, but that is how our thought processes have been programmed in western culture). Somewhere in there, there could possibly be thoughts like, "Women with women - that's not a real relationship," or "A man would be the superior choice," in addition to all the dick-comparing nonsense men are taught to engage in.
I'm tired right now, so that's about as eloquent as I can get. But your topic is common and there are numerous threads here about others' similar experiences, for further reading.
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 04-03-2013 at 05:11 AM.