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Old 04-03-2013, 01:19 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,580

Originally Posted by btboy View Post
Hello everyone. I am newbie here.
23 yo boy being in a relationship with my 32 yo boyfriend for nearly 5 years. we have a good communication and good relationship. EVerything was fine, until the day i found out he cheated with my bottom friend. But of course he didn't realize this. And i pretend not to know anything for the last 6 mnths. But the thought of him cheating with my friend quite bothering me. perhaps sexually. Everytime he canceled appointment suddenly, i know he lied. but then my feelings changed. Im jealous. but at the same time i have some sort of feeling that arouse me in a weird way.

Honest speaking, recently ive been fantasizing something about x rate about them. and the more i go explore into it, the more i found out that it might be pure feeling. the way to prove my affection and real sacrifice. i dont know. i just keep thinking this over. and i dont know if i have to be honest to him or not about it. i think i just feel had a crush and deeply in love with my boyfriend again, for the second time. is this something new for our relationship to explore?

thank you for sharing
Sounds like you and your BF are being dishonest with each other. He lied to you because he is apparently breaking your relationship rules (sexual exclusivity I presume), and you are being dishonest by keeping this knowledge a secret to accomplish some end.

Whether you guys are monogamous, poly, or any brand of open is exactly irrelevant. Relationships that function with layers of deceit end messily or endure painfully.

So, what I'm saying is, you are asking the wrong question:

"Are we polyamorous" is an irrelevant question to which you don't need an answer
"Am I mature enough to embark in an adult relationship" would seem to be the question you need to find the answer to.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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