I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't bothered about Karma and Pixi getting together so quickly after her husband died. I was also bothered about how she acted, she wasn't grieving in a manner I was used to. So I can see where you guys are coming from. But now that I've taken time to know her and her story, her history with her husband and his family, and realizing that we all grieve in our own ways, I can say I am bothered by the comments. I feel some need to take up arms and defend her even though I am aware she is completely capable of doing that on her own.
What details she chooses to give are hers to give, but I will say that she is grieving in her way. Her husbands choice was his. None of that is on her. There's a lot more to the their story and why he made his choice than just poly. Poly was the catalyst, the demons already existed and they had nothing to do with her.
Like I said, with the given information I can't blame many of you for your comments. But having talked with her at length and having brought my own concerns, including almost vetoing the relationship before it started, I can say that I am at peace with things.
There's little knowledge of what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe her choice of words made her appear cold and uncaring, but that is not truly the case. I hope that she can find the advice, warmth and community I found when I first came here three years ago, with a little less of the judgement.
I sent her this picture after she and I talked about things. It was a reminder to me that not everyone will grieve the same way or for the same things that I do. We're all individuals with our own unique story that is always being written and rewritten as we walk our own personal paths. It's not for us to judge how someone handles the death of someone they love.
Pixi-I really enjoyed our time last night. Looking forward to making dinner and a movie night a more regular thing. Thank you for the opportunity to express my concerns and being open to communicating and growing our relationship as metamours.