Is there anyway to schedule date nights so there's adult interaction? No mention of the kids, work, the pets, etc. It would be worth it to hire a babysitter or ask relatives to watch them for a couple of hours, if they don't mind. Things will get lost in the mix. We have a son who is under 1, so I can relate. I'm no stranger to opposite schedules. Texting, lunch time Skyping, and e-mailing are important. We leave notes for each other, too. We also talk in the middle of the night or while she's pumping breast milk. Just because there's a new person in your world doesn't mean the things you used to do have to stop. Who normally feeds the dog or puts up the dishes in the dishwasher in the morning? When did you and your husband talk about important things before? Things will eventually gel, but with a new one on the way and doctor's appointments and new things being added, a course of action would be ideal. Then when those things start happening you make adjustments. If necessary, kick it old school with a chores chart. Sit down with your respective work schedules. Do it like a math problem. Common denominator = common free time or the chance to handle topics that need to be discussed. It could also be a date night. Maybe you all can help cook dinner or eat it together if you buy takeout. Talk over dinner.
They have 3x as more naked time because she doesn't have two small kids or an infant who stays up until sunrise. Who really wants to be intimate after being up 20 hours? Give it a few months when her pregnancy starts progressing and she may feel like she just can't get enough sleep or doesn't feel sexy, so she doesn't want to be touched.
Sex and intimacy with young kids around is going to be a challenge. They need things, so everyone is affected in some way. Their needs come before the wants of any adult. Know that it won't last all the time. They get older and start sleeping through the night and/or become more independent. That doesn't account for sick kids or either of you being sick so plans will always be tentative.
I'm not sure if she lives with you or not, but if not, is that an option? That alone brings a new set of problems. Personalities clash and can make living together like hell. Out of curiosity, what's the plan after the kid arrives? I'm seeing what BoringGuy means when he says he sees how things will go and he has no kids.
Last edited by Matt; 04-02-2013 at 03:13 PM.