Correct me if I'm wrong GG - but my interpretation is that you should focus more on the meaning of responses that serve to reassure you rather then those that simply make you feel insecure.
By allowing your conscious thoughts to pay too much attention to your insecurities you run the risk of being on that hamster running wheel - and that's hard to get off from the longer you're on it.
I think you could try to force yourself to focus on the better feelings, and I'm sure your whole approach might change. That would also come off much less needier feeling to yourself.
Take the risk of thinking for yourself, much more happiness, truth, beauty, and wisdom will come to you that way. - C. Hitchens
Me: Male, bi, 48, flexible