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Old 04-02-2013, 08:27 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

Having a really hard time.

BP you're right that sharing darkness brings you closer. However, I am scared that sharing too much of it will drive him away. That it will make the contrast between insecure me (and I know that insecurity isn't very attractive) and Shiny New Person, even bigger.

GG, I really don't know what to do to 'feed the assured bucket'.
I found out yesterday that BF spent 3 days at new GF's house. Everything is moving really really fast and it's making me feel so unsafe. I feel very disconnected from him. When I ask for connection and reassurance, he does give it.. but I think what I'm getting at with this thread is: how to stop needing the reassurance so much? Because everything can change in a heartbeat. One week he says he doesn't know how he feels and if he wants to pursue a relationship with her, the next week he's at her house for the weekend, meeting all her friends at a party. I think there's a lot of reality to my fear.

So how does one live with the fear... instead of trying to silence it all the time with words of reassurance?
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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