Thread: batman returns
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Old 04-02-2013, 01:38 AM
GalaGirl GalaGirl is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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my concern is how can i be honest with new guy and let him know without freaking him out?
If you are going to assume things about his reaction, how about assuming he takes it just fine?

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i just want him to know how important he is to me, and even to my husband.
That's nice. So let him know.

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i just want to open the door for disscusion with new guy. no proposals or anything. just talking about his views on the matter. even talk with the three of us. i'm just afraid that he may get the wrong idea. like we are trying to have him join our freaky little cult or something.
Could keep it simple. Could just tell him. Could stop placing value judgements and let him be responsible for his reaction/feelings stuff. You cannot control how he feels or how he reacts. It is a limit of the Universe. You can only control you.

"I wanted you to know something. My husband and I enjoy and value your company and growing our friendship. I'm not propositioning you. But I think I would also enjoy poly conversation with you. Either just with me or with me and husband. So if you are ever up for that, let me know."
There's nothing wrong with cultivating an honest, deeper friendship. If it grows later to something else -- fine. If it doesn't -- fine. Nothing wrong with building your community of friends.

I crush all the time on my friends. And I pretty much let them know when I find them attractive. I figure paying them a compliment doesn't hurt, if they want to grow something beyond friendship they can let me know. And if content with being friends, we're good being friends.

Either way *I* am still having a good time.

Galagirl

Last edited by GalaGirl; 04-02-2013 at 01:43 AM.
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