Good points TGIG. I had to learn that when my lady vents to me about the other guy in our V (she's the hinge), it's just that -- a vent. She doesn't need me to fix the problem, defend her against him, or even say anything bad about him. In fact in a lot of cases, it seems to help her if I suggest what might be his perspective on the disagreement. So being someone's "listening ear" can be an art form sometimes!