Macbeth and his Lady,
Remember that there is very little social modeling for these relationship structures so be gentle with yourselves as you move through your process. I am reminded again and again by my own experiences and by those of the community here just how dynamic these love relationships can be; just when I think I've got it nailed some new aspect appears
Congratulations for being such self aware people and for your willingness to confront prickly topics.
Not for the feint of heart this.