If you don't feel you are being treated properly then do what you can to politely discuss the issue and attempt to be treated fairly, as the others have suggested. However, I do feel quite sorry for your plight, some people do enjoy being kept as a pet, but if that was not your intention it can be a very painful and hurtful situation. If he is gone most of the time, and she does not treat you well, perhaps you might be better off pursuing your own needs. Judging by your text, you seem to be someone who desires and needs affection and love, yet you feel as though you are being neglected and put down for trying to express yourself and your needs. You sound like a lovely lady, not to intrude, but is there a reason you feel a need to remain in a poly relationship? I would suggest follow the path that brings you the most joy. You sound to me like someone who craves love and affection, being treated as you are, those desires are shot down and eventually your esteem may be hurt. You also seem like you dislike confrontation, so you generally won't stress your feelings towards them, but you deserve to be heard. Please, try and discuss things with them, and if they will not listen, then perhaps its time to find a place where you can be more content. Best of luck to you, I am usually around if you need a chat. Happy Easter.