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Old 03-31-2013, 12:22 PM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

I was reading this:
and realized that a lot of my problems come from the fact that I am always judging how I feel. I feel jealous and insecure and instead of just feeling it, I judge these feelings (and myself) and tell myself I am a bad person for feeling them.

I tell myself I am a bad person for needing reassurance, for needing my partner to reconnect with me after a date with his new love. But am I? Maybe this is just a very practical way of looking out for myself. My fears thrive in the shadows. They feed on my imagination. Talking to my partner is a way of facing the fears (because I do not just want him to reassure me - I actually want him to tell me about his date, how he feels, how it's going), of getting them out in the open.

I texted with C and asked for more contact and he said he agrees that that is a good thing right now, and that we both need it to stay connected. Now, instead of feeling inadequate that I gave in to my need and asked him for this, I should feel strong that I was able to ask for what I want and gave him the chance to say yes or no, and now he gave me what I needed.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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