hello all. been a long little while since i have been on. i am still a poly girl married to a poly-curious husband. all is well with us. i do have some questions and general issues to talk about.
i have met a wonderful young man. the hubby and this new guy are friends. this is rare. my husband does not usually like people enough to let them get close. the three of us all play a game together so we hang out a lot. the hubby and new guy are so much alike it's scary. he is a few years younger than my husband so it is like big hubby and mini hubby. i love it.
of course i am crushing on new guy hardcore... 'cause thats how i roll. my husband is aware of this. not sure how he would actually react to me dating new guy but i'm not even there yet. i am just enjoying my crush.
my concern is how can i be honest with new guy and let him know without freaking him out? i am older now and more aware of how important things are. i do not wish to rush or start anything with new guy. i just want him to know how important he is to me, and even to my husband.
i have been thinking more about non sexual relationships and how it can apply to this situation. i do not want to hurt this kid and i certainly don't want to screw up his mind. i have done that too many times in the past. he is aware that my husband is allowed to date. he is also aware of our openness. not sure how much. we haven't talked to him about poly stuff at all. when we all go out to game together the hubby and i play "is she cute enough for you? " we try to pick out cool women for my husband and see if they are approachable. new guy is always with us when we do this. so he at least knows that we are "different".
i just want to open the door for disscusion with new guy. no proposals or anything. just talking about his views on the matter. even talk with the three of us. i'm just afraid that he may get the wrong idea. like we are trying to have him join our freaky little cult or something.
how do some of you deal with this? how can i let new guy know that i want to talk a bit but no matter what our friendships will not change. i already do things for him that i do for my crushes. i cook for them, clean, take care of little things for them both... that won't change.
i am reminded of the movie and book about a boy. there is a scene where the single mom is sick. her young son tells her that they need a third.
not always for romance, but just for "backup". i have no real family. having the husband and new guy around makes me feel complete.